Politicians for Export

I recently came across an episode of The Scoop on YouTube. Salim Amin was interviewing Chris Kirubi. They discussed many things about business, investments, and Kirubi’s experiences as a media owner and DJ. There was however one thing he said that caught my ear. He was talking about Kenya as a country and how it is like heaven on earth. The only thing that stops Kenya from being great, he said, is its politicians. It is at this point that he made a clarion call, “If there is a country that has a deficit of politicians, we can just give them a shipload our politicians, then this country could be the greatest country on earth”.

Kirubi stated the reasons for exporting our politicians as the things they highlight in their politicking. They highlight religion, tribalism, and marginalisation. They do this for their own personal benefit. At this point I didn’t feel like a layman at all. This is what I would have thought as well.

Enough of my ‘laymanism’ for now. I have to say what the business mogul suggested. He thought politicians should manage an educated society. He also suggested that they should be busy finding ways of turning young people into job creators. He noted that the only way this country can progress at the best rate would be send the most intelligent people to politics. In the current situation, a lot of those in politics are the rejects who have failed in other areas of life.

Back to my ‘laymanism’. I think we should have politicians who are more of leaders and less of inciters. They should more of ‘other people’ and less of ‘themselves’ at heart. They should look at all things in the correct perspective and avoid politicising everything.

If you ask me, our politicians in their current form are unsuitable for export. What we need is some value addition. How about changing the way we choose them (read elections). If they were products, we would not care where they come from (read tribe). Instead, we would be more concerned about specifications (read integrity and core values).

Am thinking, if they were good enough to export, then they would even be better to keep. We would then end up with commodities with high demand and low supply. If we have to export our politicians, let’s fix them up. Let us improve the stock from which they are produced (read Us). If we do this, we would not have politicians to export; we would have a country to be proud of. We would be able to attract investors and tourists in staggering numbers. We would have many products to export instead of our (then) beloved politicians.

Quote me at your own risk – Am only a layman.

Could Corruption and Tribalism Have Biblical Foundations?

 King Solomon, who was the wisest man who ever lived, wrote in Proverbs 21:14 that, “A gift given in secret soothes anger, and a bribe concealed in the cloak pacifies great wrath”. Whoever popularised corruption must have read this verse. Perhaps the only way to confirm if any of the corruption we practice today is biblical would be to check if it pacifies great wrath. Another way would be probably to look at the size of the bribe and see if it is small enough to be given in secret or concealed in the cloak (please ignore cheques and bank transfers).

Looking at the Kenyan situation, corruption has evolved into a business. Recent statistics showed that many businesses have at one time or other given bribes to clinch lucrative tenders. I have also heard of Government officers getting bribed to “Passover” chan’gaa (illicit brew) dens. I have seen vehicles which should be in the scrap yard moving on the roads with valid inspection stickers. Nepotism, which most Kenyans don’t consider corruption, is rife. The examples of blatant and grand corruption are endless. The question is, is it all justifiable in the good book?

I have always wondered how life in Kenya would be without corruption. People have often told me that corruption in Kenya is eternal; it will never end. I beg to differ although am not sure if my view is based on actual knowledge or on unachievable wishes. I guess it is because my layman’s life is made much more unbearable by the effects of corruption and I wish it could end.

In Genesis chapter 11, the story is told of how all people in the world spoke one language and had a common speech. You have all heard of how they decided to build a tower at Babel going to the heavens in order to make a name for themselves and avoid getting scattered all over the earth. You also know of how God came down with his angels and confused their language and scattered them over the face of the whole earth. They rest as they say, is history. Tribes had been born.

You may not quote me because you know am just a layman. I however do not think that tribalism has anything to do with language. I believe tribalism is a form of hatred. I have seen children of my daughters’ age who do not know a word of their mother tongue and yet they hate members of other tribes passionately. They could be in school together or belong to the same play groups. They could be friends but they are strongly prejudiced against each other based on their respective tribes. In the bible story, the people only disagreed on language. It is not reported that they fought because of their differences. They just lived together with those whose language they could understand.

Coming back to Kenya, tribe has taken a whole new meaning. People openly display their hatred for those who are not from their own tribes. This hatred is not based on anything somebody who is not their tribesman did to them. It is based on long running prejudices passed on from one generation to another.

I have to confess that I also used to have negative views of certain tribes. Having been born and brought up in a small village in central Kenya, I had not had any reasonable interaction with people from other tribes. It is only after I got the opportunity to move away from my village and meet people from diverse origins that I started to learn about the similarities in all Kenyans. I wish all Kenyans could get to interact with those who in their minds are the dirtiest, most arrogant, worst thieves, most warlike, most stupid, and most unfriendly of all tribes. They would probably change their opinions of them.

It is unfortunate that all national and regional leaders in Kenya are where they are due (in large part) to unquestioning support from members of their tribes. Thanks to tribalism, nobody remembers that political parties and coalitions had manifestos against which we should be holding them accountable. Being a layman, I don’t have all the answers, but I know we are not moving in the right direction. Only God can help us on this one.

P.S. I have always doubted the intelligence of the guys in Babel. Since they were the only people in the world, to whom did they expect to make a name for themselves? Just wondering!

To Rank or Not to Rank?

When I was in school, I used to look forward to exams. This was mainly because; I wanted to know which of my friends I had defeated, and which ones had defeated me. I was not in a primary school that appeared anywhere near the top 1,000 schools but I still looked forward to see which schools performed best. My friends and I would anxiously wait for the secondary school results and ranking to come out so that we could fantasise which schools we would be joining when we finished our primary schooling.

When I did my KCPE and passed well, I was happy to join one of my dream schools whose reputation I had gleaned from previous rankings. The excitement I used to get in those days is not something I can give up for anything. I am sad for my children because that has now been taken away from them.

I enjoy watching sports, especially athletics. I am eager to know who will win and who the runner-up will be. My sole objective of watching athletics is to know who will win and how he will do it. When we were in school, everyone would be on the lookout for one Bernard Kariuki Kuria. It was not just the fact that we knew he would win every single 5,000 and 10,000 metre race, it was the way he did it. He would run at a constant speed in all the laps – until the last one. He would be like lightning. He would sprint on that one last lap, even passing the competitors in the tail one last time. We always used to say that if sprinters were gunned off as he crossed the 100 metre line, he would still defeat them. The sole aim of every race was to be ranked first.

I recall the way the excitement built during the last election as the votes trickled in. Every contestant holding a seat today does so due to being ranked the most popular. If you think about it, there is less merit in being elected to a political position than there is in performing well in an exam. If beauty contest rules were used in an election instead of leadership policies, I bet a lot of the same characters holding those seats today would still win.

In my layman’s eye, life is about competition. It is not just about cheering a winner; it is about motivating a loser. Competition brings out the best in all of us. The majority of us get into contests to win. I say, let our children compete with each other so that they can be prepared to face life. They need to be told that they will be ranked in everything they do be it job interviews, elections, or sports. They will even be ranked in their pursuit of suitable spouses.

If ranking is bad, why then, don’t we do away with all forms of ranking? We can elect leaders by acclamation. We can tell athletes in races that they were all winners and should all share the gold medal. We can do away with job interviews because they tell people that they don’t have equal capabilities. Everybody can just get hired. Let us go the whole hog and do away with everything that tells people they are different. But don’t take my word for it – I am only a layman.

P.S. I am unreliably informed that Arsenal FC, of which I am a staunch supporter, supports the abolishing of ranking in the Premier league. I am told that they claim ranking is bad for their supporters' morale.

Alvin – and his Sweater

Following the passing of the anti-terror law, I have decided to play it safe and only write about issues that will not put me at risk of getting into trouble with the NIS. My safety following what am about to write is however not guaranteed. In many ways, Alvin is more dangerous than the NIS. This is more so because he does not need parliament to pass a law in order for him to deal with me. Neither does he need the dreaded Government machinery to make me regret the day I met him. Alvin, my friend and colleague, is quite capable of using whatever is at hand to make his point. I remember one time when I taunted him until I got on his nerves. He took a roll of tissue paper from his desk drawer and hurled it at me. I dodged but the tissue unrolled and followed me all the way to my office. I decided to take advantage of the situation and keep the tissue since mine had run out. Alvin came and unapologetically demanded his tissue back. That’s how Alvin is – volatile.

Alvin is a fashionista. He has class and he has taste. In the office, we refer to him as the socialite. He knows what is trending and keeps up to date with the latest fashions. His style of dressing is all proper for his age. He is very particular about what he wears, whether it is custom-made or “mtumba” (Second Hand­). I remember one time when he had a coat made. The way he described it even before it was made was vivid. It would be fitting and have polka dot detail. Even the way he pronounced the word detail (detayle) was passionate. When it was finished and he came to the office in it, it was exactly as I had visualised it from his description.

I like the way Alvin matches his clothes. Everything from trouser, shirt, tie, shoes, and even socks, is in full colour harmony. About the only thing I don’t like about his fashion sense are the tight trousers. He however reminds me constantly that this is the latest trend. He has a way of making me feel old like that. You see, he is generation Z (That’s true since generation Y is for people born in the 80’s and Alvin is a 90’s kid). For those who may be curious, I am a generation X, and so you can see why Alvin and I could as well have been from different planets.

I know from my description of Alvin above, you can be forgiven for assuming that the fashion police have no business accosting him. Well, you are wrong. There are days when Alvin comes to work in this cream and brown sweater and I find myself getting shocked every time I look at him. The sweater appears to be one of those handmade antiques which were common in most Kenyan villages before second hand clothes flooded the market. Knitting a sweater was about the only way most people could acquire “customised” new clothes.

 

Alvin’s sweater reminds me of my first ever lesson in business education. We were taught that a business and its owner are two separate and independent entities. Every time I look at Alvin wearing his sweater, I see two autonomous entities. I simply cannot bring myself to see them as one. Alvin and his sweater (see right) are like a man and his business, especially one operating under a business name. They look totally unrelated.

I do not know the history behind Alvin’s sweater and after this expose; I don’t think he will be willing to share the story. I can only try to imagine what the story is. I am a layman when it comes to matters of fashion but I can tell how a strange phenomenon looks like. I guess I will never find out. I can only stare – and wonder – at Alvin – and his Sweater!

                                                                                  (Photo courtesy of Solomon Gikonyo)

P.S. Alvin (not his sweater) is quite efficient and professional in his work as the Executive Assistant where we both work, and as the Creative Director of AVIVA Consultants where your business can get marketing services, PR, Branding, Event Planning, and Staffing.

Any Law is Good – Only to the Extent of its Implementation

When we voted for the new constitution, I was convinced that it was not going to need any significant changes so soon. I may not understand the workings of the law but I know it should not be tampered with every so often. When I heard about the proposed security bill, I didn’t know what the hullabaloo was all about – Until I flipped through a copy!

Like I have said before, I am only a layman when it comes to these matters. My understanding is rather basic and I am bound to be wrong. One thing I can’t understand however is how the new laws contained in the bill are going to make us safer from terrorists. I can’t see, for example, how the laws would have helped the Government to deal better with the West Gate attack if they had been in place by then. In my largely uninformed mind, I also don’t believe they would have prevented the Lamu or Mandera attacks.

The proposed punishments against the media and bloggers, appear intended to make the sharing of information virtually impossible. This is because these are the only sources of information for all of us laymen out here. If you ask me, this seriously infringes on the freedom of expression. This would leave us in the dark and gives a whole new meaning to the statement “Return to the dark days”.

I dread to imagine what some corrupt NIS officers would do with the power to conduct premises searches without warrants. I can envision them asking for “kitu kidogo” to “Passover” one’s house. This literally trashes the power of the judiciary to regulate such blatant infringements on our privacy.

The objectivity with which the National Police Service Commission coupled with parliament, identified suitable candidates for the position of Inspector General will be lost. It will now be at the whims of the executive to hire and fire at will.

My understanding of the law is basic at best. However, I know that a law is good only to the extent to which it is implemented. Any law looks good on paper but it is the results it produces on implementation that make it either good or bad. As a Country, we should not use trial and error to establish laws. Rather, we should learn from our past or that of others in order to come up with good laws.

I hope am wrong but this new bill appears geared towards taking power away from the people, the Judiciary, and the Legislature, and consolidating it in the Executive – just like in the “Good old days”. After that, the wave of terrorism will probably disappear mysteriously. If it will disappear because of the “effectiveness” of the new bill – Your guess is as good as mine. But then, you need not take me seriously – I am only a Layman!