Similarities between Political Parties and Birthday Parties in Kenya

When I was growing up, there were no political parties in Kenya; there was only KANU. There was also no Government, only KANU. In those years, KANU was fondly referred to as Baba na Mama (Father and Mother). I remember my father who was then a civil servant keeping his KANU membership book very safely, and ensuring that the periodical membership stamp was duly affixed. I used to think he was in KANU by choice. I later came to learn that civil servants who were not fully paid up members of the ruling party had a very difficult working life.

In the 1990s, I was teenager and there was the agitation for multi-partism. I was just starting to become interested in politics since I was fast approaching voting age and wanted to be able to make an informed decision. I however had one problem. I didn’t know what political parties were. The only parties I had known until then were Birthday parties; during which my father would give the birthday boy or girl a 20 shilling note to buy sodas, biscuits, and sweets to share with the rest of the family. (Yes! You could buy all that with 20 shillings in the 1980’s).

I remember my father laughing at me when I asked him why politicians were thinking of throwing parties when the country was having so many problems. He had a hard time explaining to me that these were a different kind of party. The first election I voted in was also the first multiparty one. I recall that in those days I could vaguely tell what each party stood for. Over the years however, I came to realise that there is no much difference between political parties and birthday parties. I guess I was right after all when I was just a child. I have observed the following similarities;

Tribute to the Owner

Whenever I had a Birthday, I would call the shots. I would decide which sodas and biscuits to buy, and who got what among my brothers and sisters. They would be there to acknowledge that this was my day and pay tribute to me. The same happens in political parties. Even as a Layman, I have observed that political parties have owners. Anybody joining a party has to pay tribute to this owner, or find himself party-less.

Eating, Drinking, and Making Merry

As you can tell from the list of goodies above, people attend parties to fill their stomachs and have fun. Whenever I hear of political parties having conferences, workshops, and conventions (whatever the difference is!), I can already visualise the unprecedented death of many animals and birds to feed those fat bellies in attendance. These parties don’t hold their parties (pun intended) in the ordinary places where you and I go. These are held in those resorts that are not serviced by matatus, tuk tuks, or boda bodas (public means of transportations). This is ostensibly to protect the reputations of those in attendance.

Periodical

Birthday parties are held once a year. Most political parties are only active once every five years. Both are quite regular and periodical in activity.

Graduation to the Next Stage

Birthday parties signify the advancement of a person to the next stage in life. A twelve year old celebrates becoming a teenager at their birthday while a seventeen year old becomes an adult who can vote or join a political party. A politician will join a political party because they want to advance in the leadership ladder. A political novice will join a party to become an MCA, then another one to become an MP, and yet another to vie for a Senatorial or Gubernatorial seat.

Sharing the Cake

It was never there when I was growing up, but nowadays, a Birthday party is not one without a cake. The cake is the highlight of a birthday party and it is during its cutting that the singing and making of wishes takes place. In the same way, a political party exists for the sole purpose of sharing some cake in some area such as ward, constituency, county, or entire nation.

People Outgrow Parties

My Sixteen year old daughter is no longer interested in parties. She would rather you give her the money you would have spent on a party. Add to that a few bundles for updating her Facebook status, and she is fine. My Eleven year old on the other hand wants two cakes; one for taking to school, and the other for the elaborate party at home where all her friends will be invited. I on the other hand, do not want to remember or be reminded that I have a birthday. People generally outgrow Birthday parties in the same way they outgrow Political parties.

 I am reminded of the many defunct political parties in Kenya that people outgrew. Can you remember FORD Kenya, FORD Asili, DP, NDP, Old KANU, New KANU, ODM Kenya, PNU, and many others? The Layman in me tells me this is just the beginning in Kenya’s quest to becoming a mature democracy. But then you know me and my limited knowledge in these complex political matters. After all – am only but a Layman!

P.S. The Layman’s gauge of knowing how democratic a party is, is based on how easily one can visualise a different leader of the party apart from the current one. This is further enhanced by members of the party talking about those alternatives in leadership. Based on that, which do you think is the most democratic party in Kenya?