Getting in Touch with My Feminine Side

I would first like to dispel some notions that might ignite rumours. I am not gay and this article is not about gay rights. I am not a transsexual and neither am I a feminist. I’m not one of those ‘Bruce Jenner’ types who feel like a woman trapped in the body of a man. I am an ordinary man who would like to live life to the fullest. It is purely for this reason that I have set out to discover my feminine side.

Dispelling Popular Stereotypes

The male figure has been cast in this ‘macho’ image. The typical male is considered to be above feelings and hurt. He can withstand anything without losing his step. He is also said to be fully confident in himself and does not need anybody’s approval to feel confident in himself. This image was exemplified by our fathers when we were in boarding school. Most of us wanted to be visited by our mothers because they would go to the trouble of preparing and carrying our favourite dishes to school. Most fathers on the other hand would come carrying just a newspaper which he would half-heartedly leave with you when he left.

In his best-selling book, “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus”, John Gray asserts that men and women are from different planets. If I was to believe him, I would give up my quest to get in touch with my feminine side because it would involve nothing less than expensive space travel. I have however discovered that my feminine side is closer that I had thought before. It is all in the mind – quite literally as I will now explain.

Hormonal Imbalance

Contrary to popular belief, men are more dependent on hormones than women. Androgen, the most mentioned of which is testosterone, controls everything in men from physical development to sexual desire. Estrogen in women serves a less obvious purpose as far as desire is concerned. Women can therefore function fully sexually with minimal use of hormones. Women use more of the ‘feely-feely’ side of their brain to control their desires and emotions.

Two Sides of the Brain

Research has shown that there are subtle differences in how the brains of men and women are developed and wired. Men have a better developed left side of the brain where logic is controlled. Women on the other hand, have a well developed right hand side which controls emotions. In addition to this, women have a better connection between the two sides of the brain.  It is therefore safe to conclude that men and women are not from different planets but rather from different hemispheres of the same planet.

Working with Half a Brain

When Obama was in Kenya, he related failure to uplift women, to being the same as having a team in which half the players are not allowed to play. I have realised that in the same way, if I don’t develop the right-hand side of my brain, I will be operating with half a brain. I will be what my British boss likes to call a nitwit. I have therefore decided to do a few things in my quest for more femininity.

Communication – Implying instead of Saying

I have observed that women talk a lot but it is not always meant for communication. They don’t talk to communicate. They talk to get things off their chest. The communication in their speech is not contained in the words but in the empty spaces in between. So when you hear me talk in future, I don’t want you to listen to the words and try to offer solutions; I want you to feel what I feel and let me now you will always be there for me no matter what.

Books

I like reading but I realised with utter shock that I have mostly been reading books written by men. I have now ventured to make sure that at least a third of all books I read are written by women. It is only a woman who can understand how to make me feel in touch with myself.

Movies

Being the typical African Macho Man, I have always favoured movies which go ‘bang bang’ with lots of blood. Now, I prefer movies that go ‘sniff sniff’ with lots of tears. I no longer want movies which put me on the edge of my seat with tension. Instead, I want those that make me discover my innermost feelings and release all the tension in my heart. The romantic stories that make me teary eyed towards the end are now my in-thing.

Feeling Ish Ish

Ish ish is a word that cannot be found in any dictionary but is widely used among women. Ish ish is that feeling you have that you cannot describe but any woman will understand how you feel. With a better enhanced right-hand brain hemisphere, I can feel ish ish without feeling guilty of feeling like I have to explain myself.

P.S. By the way, it would also be good for women to get in touch with their masculine side for the sake of equality.