Celebrating Evil

It started with a couple of suspects rising to the highest office in the land. Well, maybe that’s not where it started but it was the first most glaring example of what we had become. It seems to me that for anyone to make it big in this country, he has to do something outrageous or at least outstanding in an evil way. If he can’t do it himself, he has to condone or encourage it in others. If all that fails, he has no option but to fake evilness until he can amass enough of the real stuff.

Just as it has been with all societies in history, the young learn through example from the old. However, in Kenya, the old do not seem to have good things to teach the new generation. Since a teacher can only teach a student what he (or she) knows, our elders have been teaching us the ways of corruption, tribalism, greed, and hatred.

Hero’s Welcome for Nandi Quack

We were all appropriately shocked – in that impersonal way we have perfected as a people – when we heard about a guy who has never set foot in college performing surgeries on real people. It had our tongues wagging as we discussed the catastrophe in hushed tones, saying how the world was coming to an end. What we said, it turns out, was not what was in our hearts. We secretly admired the young mid-wife (he had even been performing caesarean sections) and wished we had the guts to do what he did.

When he was released from custody, he went home to a hero’s welcome. His relatives and fellow villagers know how to welcome heroes. They receive many of them every year as they come home after defeating other athletes on race tracks all across the world. They were therefore able to prepare a garland to place on the young dude’s shoulders. His grand homecoming would definitely not have been complete without a gourd of that cool and delicious mursik.

Herald into Politics

Although it is no longer the biggest scandal (in terms of amount of money lost), it is still the most emotive one on our waggy tongues. It is known by the infamous title of “The NYS Scandal”. It comprises of the stuff which Hollywood movies as made of. One of the key players in the scandal, owing to her being the Cabinet Secretary at the ministry in which it happened, had to bow to pressure and quit. Her apparent humiliation was however quite brief. She is now back in all her glory seeking to become a governor in next year’s election. I hate to be the devil’s advocate but I don’t think she can afford to run for elections. Those things cost a lot of money and she has just been a mere technocrat earning peanuts all her life.

Amazing Normalcy

Our two major national examinations have just ended. They have been hailed as the most credible in the history of our country (since independence). One man has done what he promised to do (and is paid to do) and we are all amazed. We are wondering why he kept his promise when he didn’t need to. He will soon be in trouble for making others look bad. He will also be in the bad books of an apparently powerful group of people going by the vague title of examination cartels. I hear that these elusive but influential people were behind the spate of arson in schools a few months back. They are said to have been trying to make the man of the hour go against his oaths and do nothing just like everybody else.

While we may laud the man for earning his payslip, we do not realise the anguish he has caused some parents who had saved, borrowed, or stolen money to buy the exams for their sweet little angels. These poor children will have no chance against academic brutes from poor families who place their feet in basins of cold water in a bid to ensure sleepless nights of study from borrowed or handed-down dog-eared text books in the flickering flames of barely-parafined korobois.