What Men Really Want

I am not a relationship expert. Whatever I say here should not be taken as professional advice. My aim is to just air my views and share my own personal experiences and observations, having been happily married to my beloved wife for 18 years. I am however still the Layman you have come to know who is bound to poke his nose in every matter.

I have ears that work and have been hearing things from our women folk that sadden me. Women seem to assume that they can judge men using women’s standards and this, I think, is where they go wrong. I am talking as a man and so all I say is authentic as far as men’s needs are concerned.

Common Misconceptions

Before I say what we want as men, I would like to dispel some misconceptions which have been repeated so many times that most women assume them to be the gospel truth. As you may well be aware, you cannot learn the correct thing unless you first ‘unlearn’ that which is not true.

“The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach”. This mantra is taught to every aspiring bride and is repeated at hen parties and weddings. To the disappointment of many, feeding a man with a world class cuisine has not stopped anyone from straying. Women go to the trouble of learning to cook so many things and practice until they become experts but are not always able to keep their men happy.

It is often said that a man has two stomachs. The one above is fed with food and the one below refers to sex. Again, women are told they have to be proficient in all the styles and techniques from ancient books of love making. Just like with the upper stomach, feeding this stomach does not guarantee happiness in a man.

“You have to submit to your husband at all times”, says her aunt during the wedding speeches. The new bride then proceeds to learn how not to argue with her man and keep her eyes downcast when he is talking to her. She further defends him when he hits her or embarrasses her in from of people or even their own children.

While the above are good things to do for your man, they will not guarantee that he will be happy. In fact, by themselves they are disappointingly ineffective in keeping a man faithful to you. The truth, as has been stated severally, is that men are simple creatures. As such, their needs are so simple that many of you will assume they are not true. I have really tried to analyse what men want and I have summarised everything to two things which if followed, can help women get and keep the men of their dreams.

Smile

It is as simple as that; Smile! By smile I don’t mean the fake kind where only the teeth are shown. I am talking about a genuine smile which in truth emanates from the heart and eyes while the teeth are just accessories. Rest assured, no man can resist a genuine smile from a woman. You can take that to the bank. Women who are known to seduce tough and powerful men use their disarming smiles to worm their way into the hardest of hearts. When my wife flashes her beautiful smile at me, I find myself giving in to all her demands.

Be Available

Women who play hard to get often find themselves hard to be gotten. Nothing puts a man off more than a woman who is not there when he needs her. An empty house when he gets home and an unanswered phone when he calls can make even the most patient man give up on a woman. The same applies to when a man wants to share an idea or vent some tension. The availability of his woman to listen to him is one of the best therapies he can get. One of the happiest moments in my home is when my wife serves me food and keeps me company while I eat. That is the time I feel most loved.

There, I have given my two penny worth of relationship advice. You can now either Smile and ‘Be there’, or you can go ahead and bury your head in thick volumes of expert advice. The choice is yours and you can only follow what works for you. After all, I am only a Layman on matters of the heart and cannot give any guarantees.