To Rank or Not to Rank?

When I was in school, I used to look forward to exams. This was mainly because; I wanted to know which of my friends I had defeated, and which ones had defeated me. I was not in a primary school that appeared anywhere near the top 1,000 schools but I still looked forward to see which schools performed best. My friends and I would anxiously wait for the secondary school results and ranking to come out so that we could fantasise which schools we would be joining when we finished our primary schooling.

When I did my KCPE and passed well, I was happy to join one of my dream schools whose reputation I had gleaned from previous rankings. The excitement I used to get in those days is not something I can give up for anything. I am sad for my children because that has now been taken away from them.

I enjoy watching sports, especially athletics. I am eager to know who will win and who the runner-up will be. My sole objective of watching athletics is to know who will win and how he will do it. When we were in school, everyone would be on the lookout for one Bernard Kariuki Kuria. It was not just the fact that we knew he would win every single 5,000 and 10,000 metre race, it was the way he did it. He would run at a constant speed in all the laps – until the last one. He would be like lightning. He would sprint on that one last lap, even passing the competitors in the tail one last time. We always used to say that if sprinters were gunned off as he crossed the 100 metre line, he would still defeat them. The sole aim of every race was to be ranked first.

I recall the way the excitement built during the last election as the votes trickled in. Every contestant holding a seat today does so due to being ranked the most popular. If you think about it, there is less merit in being elected to a political position than there is in performing well in an exam. If beauty contest rules were used in an election instead of leadership policies, I bet a lot of the same characters holding those seats today would still win.

In my layman’s eye, life is about competition. It is not just about cheering a winner; it is about motivating a loser. Competition brings out the best in all of us. The majority of us get into contests to win. I say, let our children compete with each other so that they can be prepared to face life. They need to be told that they will be ranked in everything they do be it job interviews, elections, or sports. They will even be ranked in their pursuit of suitable spouses.

If ranking is bad, why then, don’t we do away with all forms of ranking? We can elect leaders by acclamation. We can tell athletes in races that they were all winners and should all share the gold medal. We can do away with job interviews because they tell people that they don’t have equal capabilities. Everybody can just get hired. Let us go the whole hog and do away with everything that tells people they are different. But don’t take my word for it – I am only a layman.

P.S. I am unreliably informed that Arsenal FC, of which I am a staunch supporter, supports the abolishing of ranking in the Premier league. I am told that they claim ranking is bad for their supporters' morale.

Alvin – and his Sweater

Following the passing of the anti-terror law, I have decided to play it safe and only write about issues that will not put me at risk of getting into trouble with the NIS. My safety following what am about to write is however not guaranteed. In many ways, Alvin is more dangerous than the NIS. This is more so because he does not need parliament to pass a law in order for him to deal with me. Neither does he need the dreaded Government machinery to make me regret the day I met him. Alvin, my friend and colleague, is quite capable of using whatever is at hand to make his point. I remember one time when I taunted him until I got on his nerves. He took a roll of tissue paper from his desk drawer and hurled it at me. I dodged but the tissue unrolled and followed me all the way to my office. I decided to take advantage of the situation and keep the tissue since mine had run out. Alvin came and unapologetically demanded his tissue back. That’s how Alvin is – volatile.

Alvin is a fashionista. He has class and he has taste. In the office, we refer to him as the socialite. He knows what is trending and keeps up to date with the latest fashions. His style of dressing is all proper for his age. He is very particular about what he wears, whether it is custom-made or “mtumba” (Second Hand­). I remember one time when he had a coat made. The way he described it even before it was made was vivid. It would be fitting and have polka dot detail. Even the way he pronounced the word detail (detayle) was passionate. When it was finished and he came to the office in it, it was exactly as I had visualised it from his description.

I like the way Alvin matches his clothes. Everything from trouser, shirt, tie, shoes, and even socks, is in full colour harmony. About the only thing I don’t like about his fashion sense are the tight trousers. He however reminds me constantly that this is the latest trend. He has a way of making me feel old like that. You see, he is generation Z (That’s true since generation Y is for people born in the 80’s and Alvin is a 90’s kid). For those who may be curious, I am a generation X, and so you can see why Alvin and I could as well have been from different planets.

I know from my description of Alvin above, you can be forgiven for assuming that the fashion police have no business accosting him. Well, you are wrong. There are days when Alvin comes to work in this cream and brown sweater and I find myself getting shocked every time I look at him. The sweater appears to be one of those handmade antiques which were common in most Kenyan villages before second hand clothes flooded the market. Knitting a sweater was about the only way most people could acquire “customised” new clothes.

 

Alvin’s sweater reminds me of my first ever lesson in business education. We were taught that a business and its owner are two separate and independent entities. Every time I look at Alvin wearing his sweater, I see two autonomous entities. I simply cannot bring myself to see them as one. Alvin and his sweater (see right) are like a man and his business, especially one operating under a business name. They look totally unrelated.

I do not know the history behind Alvin’s sweater and after this expose; I don’t think he will be willing to share the story. I can only try to imagine what the story is. I am a layman when it comes to matters of fashion but I can tell how a strange phenomenon looks like. I guess I will never find out. I can only stare – and wonder – at Alvin – and his Sweater!

                                                                                  (Photo courtesy of Solomon Gikonyo)

P.S. Alvin (not his sweater) is quite efficient and professional in his work as the Executive Assistant where we both work, and as the Creative Director of AVIVA Consultants where your business can get marketing services, PR, Branding, Event Planning, and Staffing.

Any Law is Good – Only to the Extent of its Implementation

When we voted for the new constitution, I was convinced that it was not going to need any significant changes so soon. I may not understand the workings of the law but I know it should not be tampered with every so often. When I heard about the proposed security bill, I didn’t know what the hullabaloo was all about – Until I flipped through a copy!

Like I have said before, I am only a layman when it comes to these matters. My understanding is rather basic and I am bound to be wrong. One thing I can’t understand however is how the new laws contained in the bill are going to make us safer from terrorists. I can’t see, for example, how the laws would have helped the Government to deal better with the West Gate attack if they had been in place by then. In my largely uninformed mind, I also don’t believe they would have prevented the Lamu or Mandera attacks.

The proposed punishments against the media and bloggers, appear intended to make the sharing of information virtually impossible. This is because these are the only sources of information for all of us laymen out here. If you ask me, this seriously infringes on the freedom of expression. This would leave us in the dark and gives a whole new meaning to the statement “Return to the dark days”.

I dread to imagine what some corrupt NIS officers would do with the power to conduct premises searches without warrants. I can envision them asking for “kitu kidogo” to “Passover” one’s house. This literally trashes the power of the judiciary to regulate such blatant infringements on our privacy.

The objectivity with which the National Police Service Commission coupled with parliament, identified suitable candidates for the position of Inspector General will be lost. It will now be at the whims of the executive to hire and fire at will.

My understanding of the law is basic at best. However, I know that a law is good only to the extent to which it is implemented. Any law looks good on paper but it is the results it produces on implementation that make it either good or bad. As a Country, we should not use trial and error to establish laws. Rather, we should learn from our past or that of others in order to come up with good laws.

I hope am wrong but this new bill appears geared towards taking power away from the people, the Judiciary, and the Legislature, and consolidating it in the Executive – just like in the “Good old days”. After that, the wave of terrorism will probably disappear mysteriously. If it will disappear because of the “effectiveness” of the new bill – Your guess is as good as mine. But then, you need not take me seriously – I am only a Layman!

Miniskirts are Illegal

Yes they are illegal – in your mother’s house! I have been trying to understand what makes some men feel the need to undress women who they claim to be inappropriately dressed. But however hard I try, it does not add up. Two things come to mind. First, if they were genuinely concern about the inadequacy of covering on these women, then the logical thing would be to find them extra clothing. It makes absolutely no sense to uncover someone completely for the purpose of helping that person to be better covered.

Secondly, if these men lived in the sixties and seventies, they would have had to become professional ‘undressers’. They would have been very busy since about 80% of modern women then wore miniskirts or mini dresses. I remember my mum showing us one of her dresses and we thought it was a blouse.  We wondered if our Dad had allowed her to go out in that to which she coolly replied that it was him who had bought it for her.

Anyone who watches music videos on TV is hypocritical if he claims that any woman walking our streets is indecently dressed. Those videos can make any parent cringe and I personally can’t watch especially when am with my children. I can bet that most of those self-appointed ‘morality policemen’ watch those videos when they get home from a ‘hard day’s work’. I am sure they are addicted to their daily share of ‘skin’ and that is the reason they can’t be content with merely what is revealed by a miniskirt. They have to get more – much much more.

The rights I have as a man to wear short shorts and tight trousers that leave nothing to imagination, or loose vests that reveal my nipples, are the same rights that a woman has to wear whatever she damn pleases. I think the only way someone can legally undress a woman for indecency is if such a law was passed, and that person was made the official enforcer. Before then, let us keep our hands off women, and look away if they pass provocatively in front of us. This however is only my personal view and as you know, I am not an expert in these matters. I am only a layman.