Let’s Conduct our Corruption Activities with Decorum

Affidavits

In the recent past, we have been treated to the extensive use of a new word – Affidavit. In this country, such new words have a way of getting a life of their own. Examples of other words which we have come to embrace in a renewed way include; reforms, multi-partysm, constitution, affirmative action, inclusion, consultation, mediation, and resignation, among many others.

Deviation from Press Releases

Most of us watch news to see whether one public figure or other would be taking his political fight to the media. There is the usual boring setup of tables and chairs usually outdoors, but also commonly in some dull board room somewhere. All major (and most minor) media houses will be present as one can tell from the branded attachments to the sea of microphones. The first shot of the press release will show everyone to have arrived apart from the actual speaker as can be evidenced by the empty seat towards which all the microphones are pointed.

There will be some grumbling among the grim faced attendees of the function. This will only die down when the spokesman makes a grand entrance and shoves himself towards the seat reserved for him. Most of the attendees will not have seats but will strategically position themselves behind the spokesman as if to ensure their families and friends will see them on prime-time news.

The spokesperson will clear his throat, apologise for being late (even if he was just outside the gate), and proceed to read a hastily prepared generic speech. The speech is just a filler. The meat of the issue will of course be contained in the off-the-cuff remarks that are sure to follow afterwards. It is during this crucial session that the multitude behind him will nod their heads in agreement at every word he says while at the same maintaining their serious faces, lest you think this is a joking matter.

Now you can relax in the knowledge that press conferences will no longer be made. We have moved to the era of affidavits. For those who don’t know, an affidavit is a written statement confirmed by oath or affirmation, for use as evidence in court. This is good news because it then means that, all the juicy dossiers we are getting from the affidavits are admissible in court. This is not the case with press releases.

It’s not about Giving Back the Stolen Money

In case you may be wondering, I am not trying to look for ways to end corruption in Kenya. I am merely saying that if we have to do it, let’s do it with befitting decorum. One no longer needs to deny all knowledge of lost money. All they have to do is swear an affidavit to tell us about other money which we didn’t even know was missing as well as revealing previously faceless thieves.

It is about Explaining how the Money was Spent

The government, like any other institution, runs on a predetermined budget. Many times however, the budget ends up being impractical and those charged with implementing it are forced to engage their creativity in modifying it (Ooh! Bless them!). Through an affidavit, it is possible to explain how these previously unknown adjustments were made and why. Nobody needs to go to jail and no money needs to be returned. After all, nothing was stolen and by extension, nobody stole anything.

Redefining Corruption

Corruption is such an ugly word. It appears even uglier if it is used in reference to the noble activities carried out by people who have to think on their feet and deal with all the contingencies involved in running a government and other big institutions. Let us not call those who are suspected of fraud corrupt. Let us patiently wait for the courts to declare them either dirty or clean. Let us not call the courts corrupt. Let us instead give them a chance to explain what is happening in high profile cases where they are accused of taking bribes.

Paving the Way for ‘Clean’ Corruption

When HIV/AIDS was declared a national disaster, the government went all out to ensure infection rates were reduced. It did not make a moral issue of saying promiscuity was a major contributing factor. Instead, it ensured that there were enough condoms for people who did not think of abstinence or faithfulness as viable options. The same should be done for corruption. It should be declared a national disaster. This would ensure that those who would feel that stopping corruption is not practical would be provided with a level playing field. This would help them to conduct their corruption business with the decorum that it so obviously lacks at the moment.