Female Anatomical Uses

All women are created the same way. Granted, there are certain differences in how people look or function but they are all generally the same. People in general, and women in particular, seem to adopt themselves to whichever environment that they find themselves in. This difference can be mainly observed between rural and urban women. The way these two groups of women utilize parts of their anatomies could as well be by creatures of different species.

Face

There are different parts of a face but let me just focus on eye brows and lips. A woman in the village uses her eye brows to trap the dust that is attempting to enter her eyes in her environment. An urban woman on the other hand needs eye brows to be long and curved so as to accentuate her blinks and winks.

A rural woman’s lips help to form the words as she shouts at her children, neighbours, and animals. Town women use their lips to pout when they want to make a statement. This function is best enhanced by applying a visible shade of lipstick. The urban women also need their lips to peck their girlfriends and kiss their lovers.

Cleavage

The cleavage in a rural woman forms a safe place to hide money and other valuables. The safety is twofold in that the place is not easily accessible and also because of the volatility of the owner (enhanced by the close proximity of her sharp teeth). In a city woman, the use of a cleavage is unclear especially to me as a man. I assume it is for subtle attempts in enabling the continued existence of the human race.

Arms

A village woman needs strong arms to swing children on to the back for transportation. She also needs able arms to lift baskets of produce on to her head and heavy pots of food onto and off the open fire. Just like with the eye brows, it is unclear what the arms of an urban woman are mainly used for. My assumption is that they are used for a yet to be defined aesthetic value. This assumption is based on the evidence of litres of lotion that is applied to the smooth skin of those arms.

Hands

The hands of a woman in the village are handy (pun fully intended) in weaving baskets, weeding farms, shelling beans, and pinching errant children, among other critical activities. A woman in the big city uses her hands to swipe things like the touch screen on her phone, or her credit card at the boutique. She also needs the crook of her arm to hang her handbag as she goes about her business in town.

Legs

There is a group of muscles on the calf of the leg locally referred to as skuebee (the spelling varies depending on origin of the speller). These muscles are relatively well developed in both the rural and urban woman. The source of this development is however quite different in the two groups of women. Those in the village woman are the way they are because of hauling heavy stacks of firewood and Jerri cans full of water up steep inclines. The ones in the urbanite woman on the other hand, are stringy and taut due to the 6 inch heels she wears to the office and to other functions.

The Bum

Bum is a polite term for a woman’s behind. It is what Ken wa Maria sang about in his song “Fundamendos” (fundamentals). If I was ‘French’, I would call it ‘Ass’. Anyhow, this part of a woman’s anatomy has acquired a celebrity status in recent years among urban women. It is a fashion statement and status statement all rolled into one. It has made some women very rich and yet others very famous. Some have become both rich and famous, thanks to their curvy behinds. The bum in a rural woman however, serves a very useful purpose just like that achieved by a car’s roof rack. It is a convenient and effective mode of transportation for all sorts of things ranging from children to baskets full of market produce. It is so important that a woman without a big one would face a challenge surviving in the village.