The Layman’s Mum

In the last few weeks, and for the first time since I started this blog, I encountered severe writer’s block. This creative deficiency culminated with the sad demise of my mum on the evening of 29^th December 2016. My inexplicable lack of words (rare with the Layman), could now be explained.

A Special Lady

My mum is special (I am hesitant to say “was”). This is a feeble attempt to describe her because words can hardly do justice to whom and what she was. Right now as am writing this, I am seated in her house. I am at the dining table on my favourite chair. I like this chair because from here, I could see and talk to her through the food window as she would be busy whipping up something for me to eat. I have always commended her on how cosy and homely her house is. This morning however, something is missing. It feels a bit lifeless (actually not a bit but completely lifeless). This is despite the fact that everything is still as she left it.

The Look

Growing up, I can remember my mum’s guidance and discipline. Like many other parents in those days, she did not necessarily need to spank us when we did anything wrong. She had what I like to refer to as ‘the look’. The look had two major uses. It could be used as an indicator of oncoming discipline particularly if you had done something wrong in the presence of visitors (we were never punished when visitors were present). The other use of the look was as a deterrent. It was enough to make you change your mind on some stupid thing you had planned to do.

The Words

My mum had a way with words. She liked to invoke many proverbs and among those that have stuck to me is one where she would say, “Worth doing is worth doing well”. She would encourage us to give our best in whatever we chose to do. Another favourite was “A place for everything and everything in its place”. This ensured that her house was (and still is) always tidy and well-organised.

The Skills

My mum had amazing skills. In addition to cooking all sorts of amazing dishes and cuisines, she could knit, sew, embroider, grow things, and farm. She could make all sorts of exotic flowers and plants to grow seemingly effortlessly. Any animals that she happened to own be they cows, cats, dogs, and chickens, would multiply in no time. My best memories of her are when she was engrossed in her work which makes her a Proverbs 31 woman.

The Patience

Anyone who has failed as many times in life as the Layman; would know that it takes a woman of gold to support him. My mum has had amazing patience with us and it is hard to imagine how we would have turned out if she was not so. It was not a matter of second chances. Rather it was the availing of as many chances as one asked for with no limit.

The Fighting Spirit

Cancer has been talked about so much until it almost appears commonplace. This is not so. Cancer is such a bad disease that appears hell-bent to cause as much misery as it can to mankind. My mum lived with cancer for almost ten years. She fought the disease with superhuman resilience. She defied statistics and proved that cancer has a weak link somewhere. Every time I looked at her, I was amazed at how she had fought with a dreaded disease and smiled throughout.

Learning and Moving On

It will be hard for my siblings and me to move on without our mum. She has however left a part of herself in each one of us. We will therefore strive to live by her standards and impact our own children the way she did to us. We will nurture our respective skills and utilize them to make the world a better place. Since we don’t know how many years God will grant us, we will say, “Worth Doing is Worth Doing Well”.