Men in the Kitchen

A lady friend on Facebook recently lamented that men are disasters in the kitchen. This got me thinking. Are we being attacked for nothing or do women have genuine concerns here? Although my friend claimed to be asking for a friend, I got the distinct impression that her own kitchen had ‘suffered’ in the hands of a man. There are many instances where men are bashed by women with good reasons. When it comes to their wonders in the kitchen however, I believe they receive unfair judgement. “How can the Layman be such an expert on matters to do with men?” you might ask. Well, I have been a man all my life so you can say I am better experienced on men matters more than, say, the average woman.

Creativity Galore

There is no argument against it. Men are more creative in the kitchen. Whatever they do is based on constant reasoning out. A man will not let the onion burn before adding tomatoes merely because his mother and grandmother before him did the same thing. He will ask himself, “why let it burn” and, “why not let it cook just right”. It is this constant questioning of long running but unreasonable traditions by women in the kitchen that makes men more innovative in the sacred room.

Keenness

My own wife concurs, almost accusingly, that I make better and more uniform rosettes than her when we are

decorating cakes. Men are known to be sticklers when it comes to measuring ingredients and sizes of food items. It is probably for this reason that most professional chefs and food production specialists are men. For men, a pinch of salt is a vague measure. They prefer to work in grams and pints.

Utilisation of All Available Tools

This is one of the most emotional ‘accusations’ that men face in the kitchen. I have often heard women complain how their men ‘dirtify’ all the cookware during the making of ‘award winning’ cuisine. The women claim that the ‘mess’ men leave in their kitchen make it hard for them to appreciate any hard work and indisputable results men may have achieved in production of exotic and tantalising dishes. On behalf of all the men in the world, I would like to ask women one question, “Why are you so keen on buying (sometimes through specialised chamas) all those dishes if you never intend for them to be used?”

More Tiredness

Due to the above outlined keenness and creativity by men in the kitchen, it is reasonable to say that they get more tired after being in the kitchen. It is therefore impossible for a man, unless he is an undercover agent, to have the energy to clean up after his adventurous forays in the kitchen. I think any woman whose man is liberal enough to work in the kitchen should not complain too much about the small collateral damage (dirty dishes).

Mobilisation for Cleaning Up

Everybody has to agree that inasmuch as many men are often unable to clean up after performing their magic in the kitchen, they also seem to have the special gift of mobilising women to help them in this most undesirable activity. I know women will complain about this on social media but are probably secretly happy to be among the few whose men are secure enough not just to step into the kitchen, but also to produce amazingly tasty food. It is for this reason that at the particular time, they happily oblige their men by doing all the cleaning up that is needed.

A Case of Jealousy

Methinks that women are needlessly jealous of men who seem to know their way around the kitchen. Complains about small messes in kitchens appears to be a flimsy excuse for those who venture into their hitherto unpenetrated turf. If men were to start frequenting kitchens with abandon, it would render previously popular stereotypes obsolete. In my small Layman’s mind, I can almost understand where women are coming from. I would however ask them to look at it positively and support more men to enter and do something useful in the kitchen. That way, their years of lobbying would not have gone to waste. But then again, I am just but an ignorant Layman, what do I know about the complexities of delegation of authority by unwilling women?