Epidemic of Depression

When I was 20 years old and in my first year of college, I tried to kill myself. It was the culmination of many years of depression which I didn’t even know I had. My trigger (every depressed person has one) was my father. He was like most parents of those days and was not very expressive. Instead, he would scold and shout and blame. I guess he also had a lot going on in his life as well.

Although my father only drank once every few months, that one time would compensate for all his sober days. That particular period however, he was drinking every day. I was extremely unhappy and felt that there was nothing in life for me. On the material day, I promised myself that if my father made noise at me, I would commit suicide.

I had spent much time planning and considering different methods. Eventually I settled down on my father’s hypertension medication. He used to have a whole pharmacy of drugs for his condition. I settled on Aldomet which worked by slowing the heartbeat rate (Thanks to his lessons I knew a lot about his drugs). He had recently restocked and there was an unopened bottle of 30 tablets of Aldomet (A full month’s prescription).

On that day, my father drove into the compound at around 8 p.m. I could hear our dogs whinnying as they usually did so that he could throw them the bones he always brought with him. He parked and did not waste any time in calling for me and starting with his rantings. Unlike before when I would lose my temper and pant in rage, this time I was cool. It would be the last time I had to listen to this (or so I told myself). As soon as he finished, I rushed to his bedroom, picked ‘my Aldomets’, and went outside to where we had a water tank. I opened the bottle and poured the contents into my mouth. I squatted at the tap and washed them down with a draught of water. I almost choked to death (ironically so).

All I had to do now was to wait for death, I had done my part. I went to bed (I used to have a room outside the main house like all boys of my age in those days). I bolted the door and slept. It was a fitful night and I had to relieve myself several times before morning. I became extremely light headed and dizzy but there was no pain. By the time morning came, I was barely conscious and could not see anything, I was completely blind.

I used to have a cow those days and it was milking time. When my father heard the cow mooing due to the milk and I was nowhere in sight, he came to wake me up. His knock on my door and the calling out of my name sounded like it was miles away. I tried to stand but couldn’t. I crawled on all fours and unbolted the door. I then collapsed in a heap at his feet.

That morning, my uncle and his wife had come to see my father about some business dealings that they had. It was my uncle who drove me to hospital in his car because my father was too distraught. When we arrived at the hospital, I could not stand on my feet and by now I was slipping in and out of consciousness. From what I got later from my Dad, the two doctors attending to me were Luos and they mentioned in their language that I was “gone”. My Dad could understand Luo and that is the only reason he knew what they said.

Apparently, the Aldomets had slowed my heart until it stopped. There was no heartbeat. It was true I had gone. My father was not a serious Christian but at that moment he started to pray. God heard his prayers and my pulse returned albeit weakly. To cut a long story short, I didn’t die or else I would not be here telling the story. I however remained in hospital for a week receiving drips and counselling.

Turning Point

My suicide attempt was the turning point in my life. I became more open and expressive. I decided to love myself more. I started taking care of my needs first. My relationship with my father also changed drastically. We could now relate on a more open and friendly level. My father became my friend and I became his confidante until his passing many years later.

Widespread Depression

Perhaps it is due to my own encounter with severe depression that I am more sensitive to depressed people. I was recently saddened to hear the story of the girl who committed suicide after her love texts were read publicly by a teacher. The worrying thing about this scenario is that teachers are supposed to be knowledgeable in basic counselling and yet they are the ones aggravating the situation.

Cry for Help

Many people and especially the youth are crying for help. Unfortunately, no one is listening because everybody is buried deep in his or her own problems. This cry for help is muffled because people do not want to call attention to themselves. Instead they want to fit in and conform to the generally accepted norms.

More Information, Less Communication

We are living in the information age and as such, you can get to know about anything you are curious about. The gadgets we are using today are capable of storing and transmitting rapidly increasing amounts of information. With all this information however, there is less communication. Feelings are left unexpressed while words about all sorts of subjects continue flying around.

More Pals and Associates, Less Friends

What we refer to as friends on social media are often not real friends. They are just pals who we have no way of opening ourselves up to. It is possible to have thousands of friends on Facebook and not have a single true friend who you can actually talk with when you have an emotional problem.

Not as Strong as we think we are

A lot of us want to appear macho but underneath, there is only turmoil. Depression is no longer just a condition in isolated people. It is a serious problem that appears to have reached endemic levels.

P.S. I like that campaign that says, “Fungua Roho, Ongea” (Open your heart and talk). It is the only way we can slay the animal of depression.

Accepting and Moving On

As a Layman I have to make many compromises. Things will rarely go my way and I often have to make do with many unrealised dreams. My opinions are not always considered and even when they are, they hardly take the day. That is my lot and I believe it is the same for many of my fellow Laymen and Women out there. If what they say about making lemonade when life gives you lemons is true, then I own a lemonade factory. None of the leaders I voted for in the last elections made it through. We (their supporters) were told to accept and move on. We have done exactly that although there are few issues on which we cannot move on even if we accept.

Post Election Violence

All the suspected instigators of the violence have been cleared one by one. Uhuru and his group are free. A few days ago the prosecutor said that the evidence against Ruto is weak. Chances are that even his case will be thrown out. Without suspects, there will be no case. This then means that the violence did not take place and what was reported was like a movie – complete with professional stunts men and special effects. Accept the fact that Kenya can make good movies and move on.

Independent Electoral and Boundaries Commission

The IEBC presents what Wamalwa Kijana would have referred to as a Quagmire. If you fight for its disbandment, it would still be the only body legally empowered to carry out the referendum. As far as IEBC is concerned, we are stuck and have to make the best of it. Accept IEBC will be there to conduct many elections (and referenda) and move on.

Constitution

I was still in high school when akina Matiba and Rubia started fighting for constitutional reforms. It took many years of blood and tears for us we have the constitution we have today. I have said on this blog before that a law is only good to the extent of its implementation. If our leaders have a problem in obeying the current laws, more (or different) laws will not miraculously make them more obedient. Accept that you took part in drafting and passing this law and move on.

Economy

The shilling has become a record breaker, only second to our famous athletes. This has been caused by our change of priorities from production to consumption. The new posh residential estates will not bring in the foreign exchange that was being generated by the coffee bushes that were uprooted in their place. Let us accept that we have to spend whatever few dollars we have to import the expensive fittings in these luxury homes and move on.

Tyranny of Numbers

Elections in a democracy are not won in public rallies; they are won in enclosed voting booths. We are a tribal society and those who want part of the cake should accept to conduct serious voter registration drives (coupled with serious “bedmington”) or just move on with nothing.

Misplaced (or Well-Placed) Priorities

There are enigmas amongst us who can take 13 choppers to go look at a bridge, and take cheap soda from a kiosk, all in the same week. There are also others who can pay millions to start a blog like the layman’s while the Layman got his for free and it looks better (I think). Accept that your priorities are not the next guy’s priorities and move on.

Freedom of Expression

The present day Kenyan bloggers and social media enthusiasts are endangered species. Expressing yourself freely as enshrined in the constitution can make you a guest of the very state charged with defending that same constitution. You can accept to be gagged and move on but personally, I think I’ll pass. I will not accept to lose my voice and I will not move on.

Tribalism

I heard that the national debt is so high that every baby born in Kenya today is already in the red. The same can be said of tribe. Whichever tribe you are born into, you inherit all the prejudice accumulated against your tribe for generations. When Kalonzo told a reporter that his name betrays him, he was not being typical ignorant and arrogant Kalonzo, he was being typical tribalist Kenyan. You may not believe it but he was speaking for millions of Kenyans when he made that remark. You can accept that tribalism is here to stay and move on, but as for me and my house, we will follow nationalism.

Corruption

I was shocked to hear that corruption is so institutionalised in Kenya that it is even catered for in the national budget. I hear that about one third of the budget goes into corruption. It has even crept into the private sector. Like tribalism, most people say corruption is here to stay. It is tempting to accept corruption and move on (to God knows where). However, I will not accept corruption and I will not move on.

I Am Illuminati

“I Am Illuminati” – This is the title of the video (actually an audio) that has gone viral on YouTube. It features one Pastor Kayanja of Uganda. Pastor Kayanja is a popular televangelist whose preaching gets featured on TBN.

Nowadays if you mention the word illuminati, you raise eyebrows. We are a generation that thrives on sensation but few of us bother to investigate the truth behind all that we hear. It is laymen like you and me who are curious about what is happening in the world. Those who are entrusted with our welfare are as ignorant as anyone can be.

Illuminati is an innocent word meaning the enlightened one. In the past, it was common for somebody to say, “Please enlighten me”. This was just another way of asking for an explanation on an issue. After explanation, it then meant that the person had become enlightened or illuminati.

Illuminati reminds me of the word Mungiki. Whenever a Kenyan hears Mungiki mentioned, he cringes in fear. Mungiki is the Kikuyu word for multitude. If you said Mungiki to a person 20 years ago, he would have asked you what the public meeting was about. Now, thanks to a particular group, we cannot use the word so freely anymore. The same applies to the illuminati.

Secret Organisations and Organisations with Secrets

 If the illuminati were a secret organisation, we would not be discussing them here right now. The same applies to Mungiki. In as much as we know they exist, there are many things about them that are secret. They are just organisations with secrets as opposed to being completely secret organisations in which case we would not even know they existed.

I doubt that there is a registered organisation with the name illuminati. I don’t think you can find minutes of their meetings typed on a paper with their letter head. None of their activities are recorded. Their wisdom (that which makes them enlightened) is passed down from one person to another just by word of mouth.

In my laymanly perusals through the world of information, I have heard mention of other more secret organisations. Key among these are; the Bilderberg group and the Skulls and Bones. The Bilderberg group appears to be more secret because it does not even have a name. Bilderberg is just the place where they first met many years ago.

The Freemasons, whose lodges are to be found in most major towns, are the ones most people know about. They obviously have many secrets but their identity is not secret. What I learnt about all these organisations is that they have an overlapping membership and some people belong to more than one group. They also all appear to have one main objective.

New World Order

There is something happening in the world today. Wealth and Power are now the in-thing. A new set of virtues are at play. Cultures are merging. There is more agreement between people who have traditionally been enemies. America is emerging as a markedly different centre of power whose major weapon is mind control.

Our generation is hooked not to drugs, but mainly to entertainment. Our world revolves around radio and television. Our language, mannerisms, and values are imported from Hollywood. All other woods (Bollywood, Nollywood, Riverwood) are mere clones of Hollywood. Somebody somewhere is controlling everything that we feed our minds on.

People are not reading anything anymore. Their only source of information is the TV whose owners control every bit of information. If you have read this far into the article, you are among the tiny fraction of Kenyans who can read anything that is not intended for the passing of an exam. You are one of the few who are curious about your world and where you stand in the pecking order.

Preparation for Neo-colonialism – From Producers to Consumers

Kenya used to produce a lot of things. Vehicles and electronics used to be manufactured locally. Now we don’t even produce match boxes. We used to produce a lot of coffee and tea for export. Most people in developed countries are addicted to coffee and we being the producers of the best coffee in the world gave us a seriously good edge over them. Today, most plantations are being converted into residential estates.

Most seed for planting is now patented. Our indigenous plants and animals are now almost extinct. We are now at the mercy of the 1^st World. We have been colonised again – only this time it is more subtle but permanent. We have become unwitting candidates for the Depopulation Agenda and we are too brain washed to realise what is happening.

A Way Out

In Christianity, and other major religions, enlightenment is not a bad thing. Jesus called us the light of the world. If I say am enlightened today, I am frowned upon. Anyhow, it does not matter.

We need to go back to the beginning. We need to revive our natural curiosity. We need to do away with greed and nurture virtues of integrity and self-control. We need to become enlightened by being behind the light and directing it ahead of us instead of being caught in the glare of the light in another person’s hands – which merely blinds us instead of enlightening us.

I don’t belong to a secret society or a society with secrets. I however seek the light and if that is a crime, then am guilty as charged. No layman wants to be in darkness.

P.S. It is the epitome of gullibility for Kenyans to enrol to become members of the illuminati in recruitment drives by people who are barely out of diapers.

Going Green – Plant a Tree Today!

By now you know I am just a layman. I am not an expert in anything but that does not stop me from poking my novice nose in any issue that is being discussed. I however have a background that gives me an ‘above-layman’ knowledge in some things. You see, I have parents who were not laymen like me. My mother was a teacher back in the day when teaching was an elite profession. My father worked as a forester and he almost made small foresters out of my siblings and me. From as early as when I was 10 years old, I could plant a tree. We always had tree seedlings around the home and were free to plant in any available space. Some of the trees I planted as a boy are now more than 100 feet tall.

I have grown up to love trees and have tried to plant one wherever I can find space. When I moved to Eldoret in 2010, I disliked the way my house was exposed and visible from the road. I therefore set out in 2011 to try and ‘hide’ my house. I planted some fast growing trees to form a barrier in front of my house. Today, 4 years later, my house is well shielded. I also like the cool atmosphere the trees bring to the compound.

The rains are here with us and this would be a good opportunity for you, my fellow laymen to plant a tree or two. The choices of what to plant are many and varied. The late Professor Wangari Maathai often advocated for indigenous trees. These are the species which grew natively in our country. Most of them are lush and ever-green. However, they grow very slowly and any you plant now might only benefit your children or grandchildren.

My father on the other hand, used to advise planting both indigenous and exotic trees together. Exotic trees are those brought in from other countries over the generations. These generally grow fast and many of them are ready for use in less than 10 years. As to be expected of any layman, I follow my father’s advice and mix them up.

My Indigenous Trees

Cedar

My father used to tell me that a cedar tree would take about 170 years to be ready to be cut down for timber. As can be seen from my 2 year old baby cedar, even my children will have to live to be very old to see it grow to full maturity.

African Olive

The African olive is not actually a tree, but a shrub. It is said to be medicinal and that is why I planted it. I hope to become an herbalist one day and am building my stock.

Muriga-Andu-Kikuyuensis

I do not actually know what this shrub is called. I was told the name when I was buying it but for the life of me, I can’t remember. The name above is the one my father would use when he couldn’t remember the name of a particular tree or shrub. It is a scholarly looking but cheeky way of getting away without saying the true name.

Podo

For an indigenous tree, the podo is relatively fast growing. I planted this one in 2011 and as you can see, it is remarkably tall.

My Exotic Trees

Pine

I find pines to be quite good looking. They grow very fast and produce good timber (Most plywood being produced in Kenya today is made from Pine). When they are fully grown, they are majestic looking and whistle sweetly when the wind blows through them (What is commonly referred to as Pine-Breeze).

Grevillea

The grevillea is probably the most common “all-round-use” tree. It can be used for firewood, timber, and even fodder for livestock from the leaves. It is also known not to interfere with the growth of crops and so makes a good wind-break in tea and coffee plantations.

Cypress

Cypress fences were common in Kenya when I was growing up. It was also the dominant wood for timber. I think it was greatly affected by the aphid infestation of the late 80s and early 90s. I find it so beautiful and grand.

Casuarina

I hear most people referring to it as the bottle brush. I don’t know how proper that is because what I knew to be the bottle brush is a totally different plant. Anyhow, it doesn’t matter what you call it; plant one today. It doesn’t grow to be very big. I think it is a cross between a tree and a shrub.

Umbrella Tree

This again, is just a common name whose authenticity I cannot guarantee. My doctor friend from Akala near Bondo says he cannot plant this one in his compound because it is known to bring death in the family. As far as the truth of this conviction is concerned, the jury is out there.

My Orchard

I have always become attached to the trees I plant and can’t bring myself to cut them down. I have therefore come up with a way of getting some immediate benefit from trees. I have planted some fruit trees. I prefer the grafted kind because they mature faster and give a bigger yield of fruit.

Pawpaw

I am already eating these and you can too, in less than 2 years.

Mangoes

These are still very short but they are already flowering. I expect to eat some mangoes in less than a year.

P.S. I have not planted blue gum trees because I believe they are not good for the environment. I however don’t exactly hate them. Their demand is high and they can make you very rich. It is better you plant a bad tree than no tree at all so; “Get out there and plant a tree today!”