Analogy of Fear

If you knew me when I was young, you would think I was switched for somebody else in later years. I used to suffer from an extreme case of glossophobia which is the fear of speaking in public or trying to speak. If I had not been cured of this fear, I would not be the Layman you have come to know who can speak his mind without fear.

Fear is not a good thing because it makes people lead mediocre lives. Some of you might assume that you don’t fear anything but you are wrong. You only think you have no fear because you have no idea how ridiculously many forms of fear there are in the world today. There are literally hundreds of fears but I have tried to sample a few just to show you how much you have to fear.

Like I have mentioned here before, whereas most fears are acquired, a few are inborn. One of these is acousticophobia which is the fear of noise. I am sure none of you is completely comfortable with noise unless you are the one making it.

Of late, sexual abuse is on the rise and it has reached crisis levels. Nobody seems to be safe from the vice and it is justifiable to be afraid. Almost all of us therefore suffer from agraphobia, which is the fear of sexual abuse.

I am made to understand that the majority of women would like to get married. They suffer from anuptaphobia or the fear of staying single. Overcoming this fear is however complicated by androphobia. Androphobia is the fear of men and it makes it practically impossible for these anuptaphobic women to change their ‘fearful’ status.

Gravity is good for us because it helps to keep us on the ground. It makes rivers flow downstream and ensures that the water we are pouring from a jug makes it into the glass. If you know some rudimentary science like the layman, then you understand that gravity makes the world go round. I cannot therefore understand why anybody would suffer from barophobia – the fear of gravity.

All normal women suffer from cacophobia; the fear of ugliness. This is probably the reason why many of them will do anything to look beautiful by using all sorts of products and, for those who can afford it, going under the surgeon’s knife to try and improve their aesthetic value. Unfortunately for these women, many of whom do it for the benefit of potential mates; many men suffer from caligynerphobia, or the fear of beautiful women.

If it were possible, there is one fear that the government should encourage. It would be a big stride in public health if more men suffered from cypridophobia, the fear of prostitutes and venereal diseases. With our discouraging statistics on HIV infection, there is no telling how much usefulness this particular fear can achieve.

Next time we go for elections, we should vote out any leader suffering from decidophobia, the fear of making decisions. It will also be helpful for us to appreciate our melanin endowment as a race because we are incapable of developing ereuthrophobia – the fear of blushing. Even the recent bashing of those of us who put the French flag on our faces in mourning with terror victims, would have been avoided if less people suffered from francophobia; the fear of France and French culture.

What has come to be defined today as the fear of commitment is actually gamophobia. Gamophobia is the fear of marriage and people suffering from it will live together, have children, and invest in joint ventures, while avoiding walking down the aisle like it’s the plague.

Our country is largely Christian and as such, many Christians pride themselves in reading the bible and interpreting the prophesies therein. A lot of people concur that we are living in the last days. Much of the information in the bible is encoded in numbers but no other number inspires as much fear as 666. Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia is the fear of the number 666.

If you have read this far, then you can take comfort in knowing that you don’t suffer from hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia. Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia is the fear of long words.

The culture of playing the blame game in all sectors of society from government to families points to a new problem in the world today. Many people are exhibiting symptoms of hypengyophobia – the fear of responsibility. People with this kind of fear will never take responsibility for their words or actions.

 
What do you fear?