A Thin Line

We live in a time when everything we do is a choice between two or more options. Choosing the right thing is becoming more and more difficult owing to the closeness in the way open options appear. Choice is also the main tenet on which democracy is based. This often leads us to moan our choices of leaders or parties after the deed is done. We usually realise that different people are ideally saying the same thing and only the choice of their words differ. I have seen several instances where the line between options is so thin it is almost indiscernible.

Love and Lust

The dating and marriage field is littered with frustrated people who thought they were in love, only to realise it was lust. Perhaps the main reason this is confusing is because the words used by people in lust and in love are remarkably the same. The same gestures and body language are also engaged by people who are pursuing either love or lust. It is then true that there is a thin line between love and lust.

Respect and Fear

For those of us who have to work under a boss, it would be ideal to have an environment of mutual respect with the boss. This is however not always the case. When a new boss-subordinate relationship is being established, most bosses tend to instil fear instead of respect in their charges. While respect and fear appear to have the same immediate effects (obedience and allegiance), fear is counterproductive in the long run.

Humility and Timidity

We are encouraged to be humble in our dealings with other people. It is humility that endears us to others and makes them receptive to our needs. Humility therefore calls for us to keep a low profile and avoid praising ourselves. It also requires us to be tolerant of any discomfort that may arise from oppression by those whose favours we want. Humility taken too far however, becomes timidity. It allows for the unfair treatment by other people who do it just because they can get away with it. We should take care not to let our humility transform into timidity.

Assertiveness and Aggressiveness

It is good to speak out your mind. It is also good to whistle-blow when someone is doing something wrong. Assertiveness is what allows our voices to be heard in an unfriendly world. People who are not assertive are often overtaken by opportunities even when they are the most deserving. Assertiveness taken overboard becomes aggressiveness which hurts or otherwise negatively affects other people. Aggressiveness is assertiveness with the compassion component taken out.

Confidence and Arrogance

A confident person is good to be around. He knows what he wants and how to get it. His confidence is contagious and people want to be around him He is able to make go-getters of other people. When confidence goes unchecked, it can turn into arrogance. An arrogant person tends to think of only himself at the cost of other people’s interests. An arrogant person is also insecure and wants to validate his importance by bossing others.

Wisdom and Slyness

A wise person is able to use knowledge gained over a long time by himself and others to do good and fair things. When knowledge is used for evil or unfair gain, it becomes slyness. It is the stuff conmen are made of. We should strive to ensure that what we know is used for the good of mankind.

Ambition and Greed

It is through ambition that every worthy thing has been achieved in the history of mankind. Ambition makes us overcome challenges and shortcomings to get what we desire. It also keeps us busy and away from trouble. If we go beyond ambition, we become greedy. We want to acquire even that which we will not need in our lifetimes. We strive to amass as much as possible as if to ensure that nobody else can get it. Our world-famous corruption is built on a platform of ambition that turned into greed.

Jokes and Insults

I have a friend who, whenever I cracked a bad joke, would say, “Hiyo si mbali na matusi” (meaning, “That is not far from an insult”). In an environment where more carelessness is being incorporated into humour, it is possible to insult a person thinking they will take it as just a joke. Most jokes entail someone being put down so that the majority who are present can get a good laugh. The best joke is probably the one in which the joker ridicules himself. That way, no harm will be done.

Introversion and Rudeness

I am an introvert and I have often been accused of being rude. There is a misconception that introverts don’t care about other people. This is not the case. Introverts are just good people who are comfortable being by themselves in much the same way as they are comfortable being with others. It will be difficult in this forum to prove that I am not rude. You can have your take. I am just an introverted Layman.