Adjusting to Geographical Bachelorhood

Getting a new job is usually an exciting event in one’s life. The future looks bright with the prospects of new acquaintances, and professional growth showing up on the horizon. Aside from the blessings of a new job, there are certain challenges that come with having to work in a different town, away from family and friends; all alone!

Going Home to an Empty House

I have been used to my daily dose of warm hugs from my wife and children that I am virtually addicted to them. I now come home to an empty house where the only thing that meets me at the door is the musty smell generated by the closed door and miniature window. The smell is the least of my problems because it is easily sorted by leaving the door wide open for a few minutes. The major issue is cleaning and tidying things up.

Stooping to Do the Dishes

My small room does not have a sink. I have to do my dishes in small basins set down on the floor. I do all this while seated on a stool whose height tells me it was not meant for any floor-level activities. My back tells the same story when am done but at this time, I don’t have much of a choice unless I want to start rearing cockroaches. If I had been one of those traditionally chauvinistic dudes, I would have said I can’t stoop that low (pun intended), and opted to eat all my meals at my local joint (I promise to write about that soon). I however pride myself in being a very progressive Layman just the way I see on TV.

Laundry in Gloves

There is a marked difference between senior bachelors and geographical ones. Senior bachelors have been at their game for a long time and seem to have adjusted quite well to their solitary lifestyle. Geographical bachelors on the other hand, are victims of circumstances and are ill-equipped for their new-found situation. One thing that is not well evolved in geographical bachelors is their hands. They are all tender and not suitable for doing laundry. This is made more critical by the excessive amount of detergent they pour into the water – ostensibly to reduce the work of scrubbing the clothes.

It is this overdose of omo (detergent) that initially led me to get painful sores on my hands every time I washed my clothes. They say necessity is the mother of invention (or in my case discovery) because quite soon I discovered the wonders of laundry gloves. I can now put as much detergent as I want and my hands will still be safe after the ‘ordeal’ of laundry.
Sleeping on the Floor

In the first few weeks of my bachelorhood, I did not have a bed. It is not that I dislike beds. It’s just that I could not afford one just yet. I got myself a mattress and set it on the floor. I found out that sleeping on the floor is actually quite comfortable apart from two occasions – getting into and out of bed.

I remember in the first week of my experience, a neighbour was beating the wife in the middle of the night. I was deep asleep and didn’t hear the actual fight. I only heard her shrill scream that shook me from my slumber. The first thing that came to mind was that the building was collapsing (Don’t ask). I rushed out of bed – only that there was no bed. I hit my knee on the floor and in my pain, got tangled in my mosquito net. The following morning I was limping but on enquiry, no one else had heard the scream (people are deaf these days).

Furnishing-Up from Scratch

Furnishing a house (a room in my case) is no easy matter. I never realised furniture is so expensive until I started asking around. I have therefore had to contend with a lot of plastic furniture. I have a plastic chair, stool, side table, and even coffee table (I never knew they had those in plastic). I am proud of all my plastic furniture apart from the coffee table (can you believe it’s blue in colour?).

When I bought my mattress, I had to transport it on a boda boda (motor bike taxi). I set it across my knees as I sat behind the driver. It was a precarious situation because it was pushing me back as it was blown by the wind during motion. It was also bumping into pedestrians on the side of the road but I could tell they didn’t mind by their loud silence.

I later bought a bed but I could only afford to transport it on a mkokoteni (hand cart). I was amazed by the strength of the driver, who was very small by the way. I really pitied him but I realised this was probably among the lightest of the things he has to carry all day. He amazed me in the way he could stop and start surrounded by hooting cars and buses in heavy traffic. Anyhow, I got the bed to our plot and the hassle of carrying it on our narrow corridors to my room is something I don’t want to remember any time soon.

Cooking on a Meko (6 Kg gas cooker with integrated burner)

I have always found the meko to be a funny looking thing. Now I have to use one. I cook sitting on my plastic stool (mentioned above) but fortunately, I don’t have to stoop so low for this particular activity. I don’t mind cooking because it culminates in a pleasurable activity (eating!), but I wish I could use disposable utensils that don’t need washing. I am however appreciative of the fact that I have not had the need to use the charcoal jiko (stove) or kerosene stove that my wife made me to pack – just in case.

P.S. I have to pen-off now because I have to make supper. Talk to you later!