The Demise of Self-Control

“I regret to announce the passing on of Self-Control. Until his death, he was the guiding mantra in the lives of human beings. He leaves behind a world full of chaos where people can do whatever they like without feeling guilty.”

Excuse the silly eulogy. I was just trying to find out how it would feel like to think of self-control as a mortal person who can undergo death. Seriously though, mortal or not, self-control is dead in very many people. It is so dead that the lack of self-control is the new normal.

An Inability to Say No

I have learnt that every single addiction or indulgence is brought about by an inability to say no. I recently wrote about the power of “No” because I also realised that I was saying “No” fewer and fewer times even where I really needed to.

Recovering alcoholics recall that very first sip of beer they took and they wish they never did. Smokers tell of the first teary eyed-choking-coughing- inducing puff that ushered them into a life-long bondage, and brought them to death’s doorstep through possible lung cancer. People like to talk of how every prostitute was once a virgin. Each of these people who are stuck in a habit or addiction they can’t untangle themselves from, wish they said “No” when they had the chance. They lost their self control and it is going to be a tall order to try and reclaim it now.

Parenting

People say that parenting today is harder than it used to be during our parent’s time. I beg to differ. I think today we teach children that it’s not important to exercise self control. Instead, we tell them that it is good for them to follow their hearts (in this case meaning what they feel like at the particular moment). Children are on free fall as far as self control is concerned and the same applies to their parents. What used to be special privileges when we were kids are now referred to as inalienable rights.

Gluttony

According to the bible, gluttony is considered a sin. For those who may be sinning unknowingly, gluttony is eating more food than the body needs. We have many foods today that are hard to say no to. Just one more bite! It is that one more bite that leads a person to become overweight and eventually, obese. We all know where this ends up – lifestyle diseases that either cost a bomb to treat or lead to an early grave.

There is a field of medicine known as Bariatric surgery. It is concerned with helping obese people lose weight by surgically reducing the size of their stomachs and thereby their “healthy” appetites. Most of the specialists in this field are convincing people who are morbidly obese that there is no other option to control their weight unless they undergo either a gastric bypass surgery, or the insertion of a gastric band to reduce their food intake capacity. Self control is all but out rightly discouraged.

Sex

The newest addiction in town is that of sex. It is not helped by the media and advertising where they say that sex sells. The number of women a man has slept with is considered more of an accolade than as a cause for concern. Women, particularly young ones, do not want to be considered sissies for having very high standards. They are therefore willing to disrobe for any man who shows the faintest interest in them. It is surprising but true that many of them don’t know that they can actually say “No” and still be cool.

Just like addiction to drugs, food, or alcohol, many people don’t realise they are addicted to sex until they are too deep in it. They are unknowingly financing a multibillion shilling industry that is involved in producing pornography, sex toys, and trafficking in staggering numbers of women for prostitution or sex slavery. Those without the means or motivation to display their addictions openly are busy “wanking” away in the bondage of masturbation.

Blame it on the Genes

Research is at advanced stages in the field of genetics to prove that all those people addicted to food, drugs, alcohol, and sex, are genetically predisposed to be so. I may not know what causes us to be addicted to various habits and substances. Some of us think it is because we have failed to nurture a culture of self control. Some experts, as seen above, say we are born that way. Whatever the cause, it is up to every individual to do what they can in order to control their cravings.